DistrictGrind http://www.districtgrind.com/ The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. ~Nietzsche en Copyright 2008 Wed, 14 May 2008 22:32:45 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Banana Republic's predatory credit card offer UPDATE: [WELCOME CONSUMERIST READERS -- please excuse the crap layout!] On Friday, May 9th, 2008 I received an envelope from Banana Republic. Inside I found a single page, printed on both sides with a new Banana Republic card attached. It looked pretty normal until I noticed the VISA logo printed on the lower right side of the card. I scratched my head for a few moments and remembered a letter I had received months ago, presenting the BR Visa card idea to card holders. After receiving the previous letter, I promptly called the number listed on the mailing and instructed the outsourced call center representative on the other end of the line that I did not want to be upgraded to the new Visa card. http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/05/banana_republics_predatory_cre.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/05/banana_republics_predatory_cre.php Wed, 14 May 2008 22:32:45 -0500 Effed up friends I have...
lil baby almost caused me a heart attack Lil Bobby heart attack
Originally uploaded by DistrictGrind

Last night, I receive a picture message from a number not in my contact list. 267 area code, philly/outlying area cell phone number, Subject: FWD: FWD:... I open up the message, which has a picture of a little baby boy and the text 7lb 8oz boy 7:46 I text back,
Who is this?
Return message,
Your son
I FREAK out. In my car driving around yelling out, "Holy shit!" I start running the giant chain of events through my head and figure out the time line would match up from the break up with the ex-gf, Krazy Kathy Rottencrotch. Did I knock her up!? Sweet mother of Christ, NO! How could she not tell me about this? Holy crap my world is ending. Child support? Baby Daddy?!? And many, many, other apocalyptic thoughts. After the mini-meltdown I remember the subject of the message, "FWD: FWD:" With a thought and a prayer, I text the sender back. Praying that this is all a practical joke. Me to 267, "If you're going to pull a bad practical joke, remove the forwards from the subject. Who am I texting with?" 267 to me, "It's Candice!" (a girl I know from my days in college who, as soon as I read the name, remember her telling me she was pregnant some -- I guess 9 -- months back) Candice to me, "Did you have a heart attack?" Me to Candice, "Not funny at all. Congrats." A quick phone call to Candice to congratulate her and I'm greeted with riotous laughter in the background coming from her husband Joe. It turns out, upon seeing my "who is this?" text message Joe had the Imp of the Perverse talking into his ear. Neither Joe nor Candice knew that their joke would set off a mini-Chernobyl of my world. I explained that it's been roughly 9 months since the ex and I split...they apologized in between fits of laughter. I joined in too, eventually. It is pretty damned funny. Congrats on your new arrival, Candice and Joe ! ]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/04/effed_up_friends_i_have.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/04/effed_up_friends_i_have.php Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:21:00 -0500 Spitzer Take Two I've gotten better girls with a $35.00 dinner at Red Lobstah, yo. NSFW Image below the jump.]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/spitzer_take_two.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/spitzer_take_two.php Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:42:36 -0500 Kleptones Waking Life :
Hey. You a dreamer? Haven't seen too many of you around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming's dead, and no one does it anymore. It's not dead, it's just it's been forgotten; removed from our language. And nobody teaches it so no one knows it exists. We're dreamers, banished to obscurity. I'm trying to change all of that and I hope you are too, by dreaming every day; dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds. Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced. Ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored. This is absolutely the most exciting time you could have possibly hoped to be alive. Things are just starting.
Awesome band. Check 'em out: http://www.kleptones.com/]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/kleptones.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/kleptones.php Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:46:01 -0500 Spitzer take "I had a stack of bills THIS tall." "It was only a LITTLE cheating..." "My wife only got me THIS hard..." "This is half the size of my forehead." "No, this is not a laughing matter. My career is ruined, my wife hates me. Okay, maybe it's a little funny..." "I'm squishing your head!" "Her landing strip was yay long" "No. I've stated repeatedly, the coke lines off of the $3,000.00 an hour hooker's ass were complimentary! Plus there were only about this long..." "These are the most expensive nipple pinchers in NYC." "Na, I only have this much pimp cred compared to the pros." "Listen, I got caught. On any given day, my high priced hooker addiction didn't even phase me. Today, it's only causing me this much trouble." ]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/spitzer_take.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/spitzer_take.php Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:15:55 -0500 Obama Ads More after the jump...]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/obama_ads.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/03/obama_ads.php Tue, 11 Mar 2008 08:48:21 -0500 Craigslist for the win This is a reposting of an amazing craigslist post out of Tacoma Seattle that has made the best of list. [NOT SAFE FOR WORK] Letter after the jump: http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/craigslist_for_the_win.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/craigslist_for_the_win.php Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:55:51 -0500 Corporate Hate "PowerPoint is to design and communication what hemorrhagic fever is to a Sunday afternoon picnic." ~BL That is all. http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/corporate_hate.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/corporate_hate.php Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:50:17 -0500 Fuckin' Ben Affleck In response to Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" video, Jimmy Kimmel got half of Hollywood to come out and contribute to "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" Videos posted after the jump: http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/fuckin_ben_affleck.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/fuckin_ben_affleck.php Mon, 25 Feb 2008 07:16:03 -0500 Absolute Advertising Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski? The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of? Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina. The Dude: Oh yeah? Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson. The Dude: Johnson? Picture of new advertising after the jump. ]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/absolute_advertising.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/absolute_advertising.php Thu, 21 Feb 2008 06:52:45 -0500 Amtrak to beef up security, disallow drinking, still serve microwaved Hebrew hotdogs
  • Mobile security teams will show up at stations unannounced
    • Baggage screening areas will be setup to swab for explosive signatures
    • If any swabs turn up positive, the people and baggage will be searched
    • People who refuse to be searched will not be allowed to board AND THE TICKETS WILL BE REFUNDED.
    • Note: If you need to get out of a trip home for Easter, rub some fertilizer on your bag, refuse to be searched and, oh damn, sorry, mom and dad but I couldn’t make it! Bonus for college students, maybe you you could get that refund in cash.
    The total security budget is running Amtrak about $60 million. Speaking as someone who has been handcuffed and illegally searched by Amtrak's finest (multiple times), I'm sure they'll do wonders catching terrorists...as opposed to catching 14 year old kids at 30th Street station on the first Friday of the month...pricks. Sources: [WaPo], [Wikipedia] ]]>     http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/amtrak_to_beef_up_security_dis_1.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/amtrak_to_beef_up_security_dis_1.php Tue, 19 Feb 2008 07:01:37 -0500     Really? I bet most think this is "cute" too Sit, Beg, Roll Over, Stay Animal trainers use lots of tricks to train their charges. Try the techniques below at home. * Reward positive behavior: If your mate picks up just one dirty sock without being asked, give lots of praise. Or a tasty fish. * Ignore negatives: Don ' t nag about the rest of the filthy laundry still piled on the floor. Trainers call this Least Reinforcing Scenario. * Don ' t take it personally: Laundry is just laundry, not a symbol for how much your spouse loves you or values your marriage... ~[Newsweek] ...or so says Amy Sutherland author of "What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love and Marriage, " a journalist who spent a year at an animal-trainer school and decided to apply the trainers' techniques to her husband's annoying habits. Further down in the article we have, "Sutherland's husband eventually caught on to her experiment...and even started using the techniques back on her. Now they use the word "shamu" as a verb, as in "Did you just shamu me?" This isn't cute or neat. ]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/really_i_bet_most_think_this_i_1.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/really_i_bet_most_think_this_i_1.php Mon, 18 Feb 2008 08:11:17 -0500 Valentines Day
    VD Venn digram
    Simple and precise if you're in a relationship or a bitter single person. Thankfully I am not in a relationship, not bitter, and have excellent friends. I spent this hallmark holiday with three good friends at Brasserie Becks (http://www.beckdc.com/), a French/Belgian cuisine restaurant that opened in DC last spring. ]]>     http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/valentines_day.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/valentines_day.php Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:47:42 -0500     31 Days til St. Patty's Day
    privacy St. James Gate, Guinness Brewery Dublin, Ireland Originally by a Picasa Web Users

    Forget the Guinness Towel, Guinness Flying Disk, or any other Guinness branded toy that won't be delivered for six months after being ordered. Guinness is going for broke and has created an online petition, Proposition 3-17 (get it?), to make St. Patty's day a national U.S. holiday. They need one million signatures in order to present the petition to Congress for consideration. Currently, they have 977,000. I appreciate the effort; however, the day after St. Patty's day should be the real national holiday. Regardless, Guinness needs your help! Sign the petition for Proposition 3-17 at http://www.proposition317.com ]]>     http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/31_days_til_st_pattys_day.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/31_days_til_st_pattys_day.php Fri, 15 Feb 2008 08:09:14 -0500     ACLU lawer concerned that DC's crime surveillance cameras may be used for "... zooming in on attractive women." [WaPo] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/10/AR2008021002726.html?nav=rss_metro Arthur B. Spitzer, legal director of the Washington office of the American Civil Liberties Union, demonstrates that he has never been to the District's low or high crime areas. I think the police should try to find attractive females with the cameras, it would ensure that they are glued to their monitoring stations. I suggest a points-based system between one and five, where one is witnessing a mugging take place and dispatching police and five is finding a hot woman in this town.]]> http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/aclu_lawer_concerned_that_dcs_1.php http://www.districtgrind.com/archives/2008/02/aclu_lawer_concerned_that_dcs_1.php Mon, 11 Feb 2008 13:36:25 -0500